Conversations with a Wounded Healer
“I think I've propelled forward with that just being loved for who I am, that I don't have to be someone else, do something different, listen to this kind of music or wear these type of clothes or conform.” -Kathi Hennessey
Shout out to all the black sheep! Given the interactions I’ve had with many of you over on IG, self-declared black sheep make up most of this Wounded Healer’s audience. We kindred souls are a misunderstood bunch. The Oxford English Dictionary, for example, defines us as different from the rest of their family or another group and who is considered bad or embarrassing. We are often derided for being independent thinkers and doers in heavily co-depended family structures. We hold up mirrors to intergenerational issues, reflecting ugly truths.
Most black sheep fight the good fight, often alone, minus the guidebooks and helpful infographics tailor-made for other notable members of the family dynamic (see: middle child, only children, first-borns, etc.) With so many black sheep about town, you’d expect to find volumes written in our honor. Where are the books detailing our experiences or offering keen insight into the unique psyche of black sheep? Fear not! The definitive tome on black sheep is in its research phase, courtesy of my guest Kathi Hennessey, LICSW.
No presh, Kathi, but…we’re waiting, so hurry up!
I met Kathi over on IG, and we hit it off immediately. It’s one of those great INFJ vibes with ENFJ friends-for-life stories. As the black sheep of her family, Kathi searched in vain for support plus validation on her healing journey. We certainly found validation and healing together during our conversation, bonding over everyday struggles and celebrating the twisty paths that have delivered us to sustainable self-preservation.
Kathi’s black sheep backstory is laden with classic markers: Irish Catholic upbringing, a family history of alcoholism, resentment, denial, and divorce. Those compounded traumas don’t always add up to black sheep designation. So what does? Kathi aims to find out. She hopes her research will offer guidance on how folks can black sheep better because––families.
Bad and embarrassing? The OED got it wrong. Sure, black sheep unleash Kali energy on that sticky generational trauma loop. But we do so as a means of healing. If smashing the status quo lands us outside a broken family dynamic, bring it on. Black sheep are a breed apart. And we’re far from alone.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Myers Briggs Personality Types
GUEST CONTACT INFO & BIO
Kathi Hennessey LICSW is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. I am conducting research on people who are the black sheep of their families. As the black sheep of my family, I was looking for support and validation for my healing journey.
Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places…
Website:
What does it mean to be The Black Sheep of the Family?
Many people who self-identify as the black sheep of their family feel misunderstood and ostracized. They report many negative comments and judgments from their family members. Many black sheep are self-healers, empathetic, and compassionate to others, given they know what it feels like not to be heard and understood. Kathi Hennessey, LICSW, studies the characteristics of adults who self-identify as black sheep or marginalized members of their families. Kathi will use information from her study to write a book about how the black sheep or marginalized members of their families are created and maintained. The research will also examine how these adults have adapted and embraced their uniqueness. In this episode of The Honestly Unfiltered Podcast, Jeni and Ellie sat with Kathi to discuss her research study. They also discussed family dynamics and whether or not we should feel obligated to be a part of our family members’ everyday lives. Why are we forced to spend the holidays with our family when their treatment is terrible? And what happens when we push back, set boundaries, and do not allow toxic behavior? Find out this and much more in this episode.
Visit: https://www.honestlyunfilteredpodcast... For more information.
Transcript
Follow along using the transcript.
Show transcript
The Honestly Unfiltered Podcast
How Empaths can Heal from Being the Black Sheep with Kathi Hennessy
"Family installs your trigger buttons. ...I would rather have enjoyment than obligation."
For centuries Empaths have felt shame and guilt for being different and "being too much". But our guest today helps us dare to be different and embrace our uniqueness as a power, not a curse. Today I share a conversation with Kathi Hennessy LICSW Instagram: @being_the_black_sheep Guest Bio PAGE: Kathi has a background in research and has been a psychotherapist for 14 years. She is licensed in 5 states and has a private practice in Massachusetts. Kathi works with adolescents and adults who struggle with anxiety, depression, ADHD, school/career stress, and life transitions. She really enjoys working with individuals and couples who have relationship issues. Here are some key moments: Therapy for your codependence to this family gaslighting relationships; Detach emotionally; Speak up; and do not let it fester; Limit your time with them; Know you deserve pleasure; Embrace your difference.
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